Ep.14 The mind and how it distorts your reality.

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hello, hello, this is the Borealis experience. I'm Aurora,

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and I will be spending some time with you today. Maybe you can

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hear it through my voice, I have a big smile on my

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face because yesterday I decided to record meditation while I was

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walking with my dog. And I wasn't a good mood yet, I used a

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couple of swear words. So YouTube decided to restrict my

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content. So now when you click on episode number 13 on YouTube,

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they will ask you first if you are willing to listen to

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inappropriate content. And it's a meditation, right? So yeah,

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no, this is all awesome. I love YouTube and just doing their job

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and I will keep posting anyways and maybe watch my language. So

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last time, I went a little bit deeper into the physical body's

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well being and gave you tools with how you can make sure that

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you're giving your body everything it needs. Need,

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needless to say that everybody is different. So if I tell you,

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you have to drink four liters of water every day, it might be not

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the right thing for you. And a lot of times we are out there

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and we're seeking out answers for us physical ailments or just

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to feel better and our skin. But I say I'm strongly convinced

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that we have to learn, we have to fine tune our listening when

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it comes to our body signals. And if we manage to listen to

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our body's needs, then we are living in perfect health and

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balance. So today I want to talk about the mind. Because in the

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last episode, I also started talking about the monkey mind,

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and how your monkey mind which is

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your ego, your

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part of yourself that might have gotten hurt in the past and is

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trying to protect you and prevent further pain. But

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sometimes, so it is a good thing to have your mind running. But

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sometimes it takes over too much. And sometimes it guides

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you down a path that you don't really want to go down. But it's

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just so much stronger than anything else you can imagine.

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So, at the very end of last episode, we talked about Netflix

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binge watching junk food, alcohol, weed, porn addiction,

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and how those things in the first place make us feel really,

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really good because they might distract us from loneliness. Or

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just give us some other kind of arousal or dopamine secretion, I

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think you say in English too.

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So with these things, so you can

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go really far like if you really practice that religiously those

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habits, then your body will quickly give up on you or come

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up with ailments that you want to get rid of and you will not

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be able to get rid of them unless you change your habits.

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So your mind plays an extremely important role there because it

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is over your mind that you control your behavior. But we

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also want to be very careful and not overcorrect. So I don't know

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how to approach this. There's some people who were obese in

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their childhood and then all of a sudden, it's like a switch

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button and then they turn into an anorexic person or a person

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with how do you say that eating disorders. We have people who

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were very lazy and messy and their use Since their teenage

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years, and maybe even in their 20s, and then go through a huge

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heartbreak, because the new flame, the old flame, ran away

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with an new flame that is less messier and more successful in

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life. So what do you make out of it the consequences you see, or

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the conclusion you make, then is that, oh, I have to give up my

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messy life, I have to get a job and totally reject who I am and

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become that new persona. And this is what I don't want. This

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is what I don't want to create. I want to create, if at all a

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healthy ship, shift and make the transition as smooth as

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possible. Because every harsh, cold turkey approach will just

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backfire. Most of the time. So what we want to do is take the

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mind as a tool, but live from the heart, let the heart make

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the decisions and let the heart and the body really tell you

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what it needs and how it wants to show up in this world. And of

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course, you can ask, Well, how am I going to communicate with

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my people, I can just use body language now. And it's a little

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tricky for me to put it into words, but I'll get there.

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Living from the heart behaving from the heart is a very warm,

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calm feeling, that will actually also bring you the results that

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you want and were craving for. For so long. If you were living

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from the mind, then when it comes to relationships, a lot of

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times we become manipulative, or we have our ways to express our

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needs or are scared to get hurt again. Or those things that

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really prevent us to see the other person as they really are.

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And when he can just be calm with yourself. So when you sit

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in meditation and see all these thoughts coming up, and you just

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know, this is just one of those days again, where I feel

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insecure about myself where I'm jealous or whatsoever, then you

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can apply this also in relationships. So what I want

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you to do, maybe over the next

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couple of days is a see, or observe

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how you show up in the world, what affects your mood. So you

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get up in the morning, let's say on a day off and you do your

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routine. And as soon as you step out into the world and have

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interactions I know we live in COVID times but you will have a

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text or an email or you will see someone on the street. See

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what's going on in your mind. Is there a judgy voice is there, an

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insecure voice, a jealous voice, an angry voice? What comes up as

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soon as you interact with other people, and that will pretty

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much give you a clue of where your mind is at. And we can

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choose now if we want to follow that. Or if we want to go back

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to that meditative state of state where we receive and give

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and respond instead of reaction. The mind is not everybody's best

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friend because people who suffer from addiction for instance, or

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insomnia or obesity, fall prey to their thoughts. And I know

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this is very simplified. But it helped me to get out of of some

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stuff that I was struggling with in the past so much that if you

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have other tools if you see a doctor if you are in therapy or

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if you're not, then you can use this information here that I'm

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sharing with you, too. help you out even better. So maybe you

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had a bad experience with a girl in that, let's say a couple

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years ago. And maybe every time now that you meet someone new,

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you have these filters on and tried to check everything

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possible to avoid a new pain coming up, instead of entering a

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new relationship or a new conversation with someone with

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an open heart, and with really seeing them and listening to

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them, we put on these filters, and force that person through

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those filters. And maybe you can hear and see already that that

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doesn't work. It's not how we're meant to interact with each

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other. And it can go really well for some time. But sure enough,

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a couple years later, or month, even sorry, you will find out

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oh, that person is not really who they pretended to be. And

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most of the time, it's not their fault, say we're not playing a

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show. It was you who tried to see them in a different light

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and who tried to neglect parts that you saw, but didn't want to

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see. So that's one example of how the mind can trick you and

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really make you feel as if the outside world is bad and wrong.

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But it is you who chooses to see the world a certain way to maybe

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prevent pain. But you can't, you can prevent it. Like it's not

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possible. So if you know that, I know, it's easy to say, but just

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go out there and have an open heart and put your monkey mind

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in the back seat. And then you can enter a relationship with a

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way more relaxed attitude. And then when it goes wrong, then

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you know that you gave it your all you were open. Your mind

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didn't play your tricks, you got to know the person really as who

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they were. And you will find someone very soon, who is

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perfectly suited. So in the last part of this episode, I want to

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talk about your mind and how you view yourself. Yesterday we

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talked about physical self care. And I want to add to that, that

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a lot of women use makeup, because they feel they don't

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look cute and beautiful enough without makeup. It is not to

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make them feel better, or to make them feel sexy for some,

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but a lot of women are out there trying to covering up and don't

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can stand their face without makeup. And I believe there

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again, it is the mind that makes you feel ugly and really bad

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about yourself and how can you change that? I feel if you

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really can look deep into when it started. Maybe it goes back

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to a story in high school or a kindergarten or sometime back

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where something happened and you felt so ugly and not good about

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yourself and now you see yourself in the mirror and you

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feel disgusted and when I hear girls talking about it openly

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and very raw than just aches my heart so much because they don't

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see what I see. And how can you help people who have such a

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distorted view on themselves. It's so hard and painful and

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frustrating and takes a lot of patience. Friends, but you can

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help people and help them to help themselves. Right? I feel

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through meditation once again, when we can reach a totally

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relaxed state, a state of well being, then no one, no one can

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be ugly in that state because it attractiveness to me, and I

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think to so many as a person who feels beautiful in her skin, and

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he who feels content with her decisions or his decisions, and

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has nothing to do with gray, or blue or black or brown eyes. And

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the hair, same thing, as soon as you feel good about yourself,

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and you show up in this world, proud and happy. And you are so

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happy that you even have the energy to support and help

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others. How dare you think that you are ugly? When you look into

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the mirror, it is your mind that registered a painful comment or

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experience from the past. And you have to let that shit go as

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fast as you can, because you're wasting so much beautiful juicy

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time out there hiding and feeling insecure about yourself.

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I will go so much deeper into that topic. But I think for now

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we covered the mind quite well. Next time I want to talk about

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relationships and how they influence your well being and go

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way deeper and ask you are you a good friend? Are you a good

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partner? What are the tools I can give you there to live juicy

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fulfilling relationships, the relationships you will always

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craving and always wanted to have but could never really

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grab? Yes. Thank you so much for listening. Today. We covered a

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lot. Have a big sip of water now. Maybe you can go for a walk

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and breathe some fresh air. Or talk to a friend on the phone or

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just sit in stillness and listen to one of my meditations. I'm so

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grateful for spending time here with you and for you. Yeah,

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being curious about my podcast and following me. That really

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motivates me a lot. Thank you so much Aurora.