Ep. 12 Nobody wants a people pleaser / how to reclaim your power.

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Hello and welcome to the Borealis experience,

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I'm your host Aurora,

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and yeah, today I'm so excited to be recording an episode

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again, it's been a couple weeks feels like a couple months since

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I've recorded an episode for you just one on one, I'll be doing

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well. This episode is for you. If you want to grow, if you want

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to let go of stuff that doesn't serve you anymore. And if you

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just want to be more confident with who you are, and reconnect

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to yourself, and get to know your body better, take better

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care of yourself. If you appreciate what I'm doing here,

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please take the couple minutes, if not seconds, to write me a

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quick review on Apple podcast, it would mean the world to me.

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It is the currency, the biggest strongest for podcasters. To

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show appreciation. Today I want to talk about your journey, your

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story, your belief system, and maybe the unconscious storyline

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that is dictating your life. You're not aware that you are in

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that mode. But you are in this mode. And it keeps attracting

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situations that you don't like it keeps distracting you It

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keeps maybe even destroying relationships. And you're not

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even aware of it. So when you go back to season one, I deeply

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recommend you going back to season one. And check out my

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episodes on body awareness on your history, your story you

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tell yourself and everything that Yeah, concerns you. And as

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important to you. Also season two is very in depth when you

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want to get to know yourself better. And this episode today,

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I'm going to try and put everything in that. So that you

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have like a quick energy boost a quick little reminder of where

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you can start digging a little deeper where you can start and

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become a little more curious, in order to be on the right path,

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your right path. So I want to ask you a question. How much do

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you feel you need to accomplish something? Do something in order

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to feel seen and heard? Do you feel you can just be in this

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world? Just be yourself. Just go about your mission? Or do you

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feel like you have to be a certain person, you have to do

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certain certain things, sorry. In order to feel that you have a

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purpose in order to feel you belong. And then I want to ask

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you, how much do you like yourself? Do you respect

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yourself? Do you take really good care of your body? And I

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don't mean going to the gym? putting makeup on or nail polish

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if you're a girl putting on nice clothing. That's all very

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superficial stuff. I mean, do you deeply appreciate your body

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and accept your body? deeply appreciate that your body is

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serving you every second of your life without asking much from

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you. Do you drink enough water deed good food? exercise of

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course is important. Do you get good sleep? When you take a

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shower has it just let's get it done with or did you actually

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enjoy touching your body non sexually, and again, deeply

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appreciate

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your body that is serving you day in and day out. Do you

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understand your body? Do you understand the language as it is

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speaking to you, the body is giving you very subtle signals.

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And if you tend to not listen to them, you become sick. If you

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tend to not listen to them, you live in discomfort and it can

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even affect your mental health and make you feel depressed.

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Just because your body is deficient of something that you

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chose to ignore. So I invite us all today to check in, do we

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take care of a body? And in doing so do we take care of our

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mental health? There's a storm coming up out there. Mother

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Nature is supporting my powerful little message here today. This

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is awesome. When it comes to your relationships, when it

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comes to your identity, what do you identify with? Is it your

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relationship to your parents that is still holding you back

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from doing what you really want to do? Do you still feel like

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you have to be a people pleaser. And trust me, people pleasing is

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such a dangerous mode to be in. And I feel when I say dangerous,

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I'm not exaggerating, because people pleasing is not good for

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anybody involved. If you are the person who's trying to please

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others. You're constantly running around and trying to

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extinguish fires that are not yours. Because you don't feel

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worthy otherwise you constantly worrying about other people,

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you're constantly thinking about what people think about you, and

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you want to find a place and and doing like in wanting to find a

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place you just keep being that person who always wants to serve

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others. And now you could say well, there's nothing wrong with

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that I don't want to be servant or the other people and I want

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to be kind person compassionate and have empathy and stuff.

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Yeah, but if you do it out of the wrong reasons, you're gonna

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destroy your relationships with people. And you're not even

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going to

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know why.

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You're not going to be able to set healthy boundaries, you're

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going to be sitting there and expecting stuff from people that

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they don't want to give back to you. And it's just a whole mess

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that grows on your pile of poop. Sorry to say that clearly. But

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this is how it is. So if you identify with being a people

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pleaser, you will keep being disappointed. You will keep

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feeling drained, you will keep not understanding what is going

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on with people, they are so selfish. They don't care about

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other people. And they're just taking all the time but never

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giving back. It is because you give and give and give. And

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people can sense that you do it out of a lack of self

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confidence. And like I love to say we're all just animals. And

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when we sense low energy activity like this, we want to

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reject we want to make aware of it, we want to call it out. Or

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we just cut it out of our lives when it doesn't serve us anymore

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or when it's getting to a point that it's getting annoying. A

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person who feels they have to serve others please others on a

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constant as actually even burning out others because that

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person at some point will crumble will be so resentful and

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hateful and accuse other people of never being there for that

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person that they never asked for the help that was presented to

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them. So this is a harsh wake up call. For everybody who is

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trying to save everybody out there, it is not your mission to

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rescue other people, you can lead and help other people out

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in, in being a good example of self care. But you don't need to

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sacrifice your well being for others. And for some people, it

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might sound very virtuous, but those people usually get sick or

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very resentful and hateful towards people. What about your

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relationship with your parents, as I started out earlier, we are

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oftentimes born into families that have very different values

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than ours. And when we are little, we learn that being

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excluded from family is life threatening. So of course, as a

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toddler, as a young person, maybe even as a teenager. It is

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life threatening for you, if you have your own mind your own

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dreams, that our outside of the box of your family was that a

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surprise now that you are going to turn into a hardcore rebel,

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or if you have your rebellion, internally, you will become

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sick. I don't think that's a surprise. Because we're not

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born, to please

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anybody out here in this world. We are born to find our purpose,

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to live up to our purpose. And to serve Yes, serve other people

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through our mission. Not because we feel a lack of confidence and

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a lack of belonging if we don't serve others know, because we

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step into our power. And we serve other people, we help

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other people because of the magical knowledge that we hold.

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So when you look at your family, maybe you're born into an

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intellectual family, but you really want to be that crazy

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musician who's spreading joy all over the planet. Maybe you are

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born into a creative, artistic family. And you want to be an

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accountant, a banker, an investment broker. There's

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nothing bad with that. There's only something bad with this, if

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you hold back. And if you think that you need your family's

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approval to do whatever pleases your heart, what means following

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your purpose, and in doing so, helping so many people out

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there. So, first thing we had your body? Are you taking care

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of your body? Your mental health comes right after? Are you

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living your truth? Or are you still trying to please other

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people out there? Because you don't feel worthy enough? Are

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you still too insecure and weak with who you are? To not set

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boundaries that protect who you are, and show people how to

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communicate with you and how to treat you? And then the next

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point was? In what kind of family were you born in? And do

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you allow yourself to fully

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express your purpose? And a lot of people will say No, well,

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Aurora, but I don't know my purpose. I have that job. That

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is kind of okay, but not really awesome. And I have a wonderful

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family who's supportive and everything. And we get along

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greatly. Well, maybe you're not being honest with yourself.

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Maybe you think that if you were to follow your purpose, you

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would disappoint your parents or your friends, or whatever. Maybe

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you don't allow yourself to see what your purpose is. Because

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it's so much easier to see yourself as a little victim of

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circumstances and to not tap into your power and into your

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purpose. Because that would create discomfort, temporary

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disconnection from people that you feel connected right now.

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And just overall disturbance. Well, this my sweetheart if you

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decide to sit in that misery, you will become more miserable,

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and become eventually sick, or even more bitter at the end of

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the day. So you have to ask yourself, what is holding you

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back? What are you scared of? What are you resisting to

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explore? Where do you think you're going to hit on

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resistance, that's where you will have to dig a little

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deeper, where you don't want to go. Sometimes the path you don't

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want to walk on is the exact path that you should be walking

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on. Because that means growth. That means breaking out of

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restricting energies and stuff that is holding you back,

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setting yourself free, connecting with people who will

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lift you up even higher, who will support you on your

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mission, and make you feel real good. And you will realize, I

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don't need other people to make me feel real good. Because I

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love myself and respect myself so much, that now I can only

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appreciate other people's approval, but I don't need it

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anymore. Because I know I'm doing awesome stuff. For other

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people out there. If you tap into that energy, of course,

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you're going to lose friends who are maybe falling behind and

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want you to be your old self. But it is okay. It is okay to

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distance yourself from people who are not walking on your

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path. And it is okay to reconnect with new people who

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will be on your new path with you.

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Full stop.

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So,

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I want you to think about these questions that I asked you

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today. I want you to really dig a little deeper, because if

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you're not happy with your situation right now, maybe you

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don't know what you want. And you have to find out now what

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you want, and only new, we'll find out what you want and no

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one else in your surroundings, you are alone with us. And it is

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absolutely okay. You can't make any other person responsible for

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this situation you're in, I want you to call yourself out on your

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bullshit. If you were choosing to live a mediocre life because

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of other people's opinions, other people's judgments and

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your own little belief system. I want you to really be honest

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with yourself from today on. And if you find out what you want in

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life, then don't waste any time. If you live in COVID

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construction right now, there's so many things, so many little

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steps you can take in order, sorry, in order to get closer to

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your dream. And if there's no restrictions anymore, you have

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even less excuses. And then every day, I need you to think

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of your dream and your goals and your purpose. And every day, I

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need you to take baby steps. So make time to make baby steps

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towards that new person, you want to become that new purpose

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you want to tap into. Alright, I'm gonna leave you with that.

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It was a lot of shaking and breaking and passionate talking

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here. People who know me for a little bit since episode one are

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probably not surprised. And for people who are new here, just

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know that I'm a regular girl who had a couple of very intense

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experiences. And a couple very harsh lessons I had to learn.

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And I want to share this with you in order to maybe be able to

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take shortcuts to not waste as much time as I did. And to not

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feel like a victim for so long and you're actually a leader and

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could be out there helping other people. I'm sending my love out

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to you. Thank you so much for listening to the Borealis

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experience here. Make sure to Send me a review on Apple

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podcasts and I will be out there very soon again