Ep. 10 How much self-hate do you carry within [helaing the self]

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Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

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experience. I'm your host Aurora, and I'm very happy to be

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spending some time with you today.

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It is Sunday afternoon. It's very windy out there.

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And today I choose to talk about uncomfortable feelings.

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anxiety, sadness, powerlessness, anger, frustration.

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Desperation.

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Those feelings usually come up when

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we are by ourselves. They start out with little thoughts, maybe

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something that has happened and the outside, that triggers a

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thought.

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And then it goes on and on, and you start feeling worse and

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worse, and maybe even anxious, nervous. Maybe your body even

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starts feeling uncomfortable.

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And then the distraction starts, we have Netflix, at the tips of

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our fingers. We have junk food, we have ice cream in the

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freezer,

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we have porn.

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We have all kinds of stuff.

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To help us avoid these feelings. Not to forget about cigarettes,

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and alcohol.

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They numb the pain, they

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make us think of something else, they make the body feel warm and

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fuzzy.

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And make you basically, yeah, override these feelings. But

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they're still there

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are going to come back next time around when you're alone.

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I'm still struggling.

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And being at peace, like mental peace. When I spend extended

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periods of times by myself, and I'm learning day by day,

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situation by situation, that this is exactly what I need to

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learn. I need to learn to be comfortable. Spending time with

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myself. I'm good at spending time with myself. But I usually

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heavily distract myself, you know, social media and Netflix.

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Everything is right there.

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It is okay to sometimes just stop

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and to see what is there. You know, it's like a house that you

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haven't been in the long time.

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And it's dusty and there's things broken.

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And all of the time you were avoiding to go into that house.

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Or you were trying to mask

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the stuff that disturbing things that you didn't want to see.

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But today, I just want to invite you to be there with me

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with these feelings

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to sit there, preferably not driving or operating any

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machinery

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and to just

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allow yourself to be still.

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And when things start coming up when your monkey mind starts

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doing its business.

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Just don't engage.

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let it float by like a cloud on a windy Sunday afternoon.

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And even if you feel uncomfortable, no know that it

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is certainly your thoughts who trigger those uncomfortable

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feelings in your chest

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and your body.

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Take a deep breath through your nose and then exhale

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and then inhale

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and then exhale.

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know that right now you don't have to think about any to do

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lists.

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You don't have to react to anything you have to not

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impulsively try to go do something in order to escape.

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And just notice what is coming up? Is it sadness? Is it anger,

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that frustration is it loneliness

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and give it some attention.

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You know, like, all too often we're there for other people

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when they feel shitty, we're there for a child when it cries,

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we comfort.

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But when it comes to our deep stuff, which is to distract

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ourselves, which is to not want to feel these feelings.

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And if we can start to be a little bit more compassionate

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with who we are,

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the knife can become so much easier.

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We don't take things as personally as we used to, and we

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feel self compassion.

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When we feel self worth.

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We don't meet make other people's actions about

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ourselves.

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We know it's dumb and tells everything about them. And it

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has nothing to do with ourselves.

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When we choose to sit and stillness and do nothing, but be

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everything

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and maybe go up into birds perspective and look down on

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yourself

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and know that you're endlessly precious and unique.

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Just by sitting there, where you're at right now.

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Nothing needs to be fixed.

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Nothing says that you're not enough. Nothing says that you're

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not meeting expectations.

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You are whole You are wonderful.

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You are an exquisite mix of energy and love, lifeforce

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can pay compassion for others,

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first and foremost for yourself.

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Be gentle with yourself of facts sakes, we need to learn this.

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And I'm not going to apologize for swearing here because it's

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my podcast and I can do whatever I want.

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You are so precious.

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And sometimes you just have to remind yourself of that. You

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have to stop

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and realize that your thoughts are so self destructive, so

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poisonous, so against yourself.

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And when you give it a little bit of tension,

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you can resolve it. You know, as soon as you shine light onto

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something, it changes. As soon as you start observing

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something, it changes. Just think about yourself being on

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camera, you're not yourself like you're on the spot and

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you feel uncomfortable maybe or super comfortable but it does

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something to you. And the same thing happens with your thoughts

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and your feelings that you have in your chest.

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In your head in your back.

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A lot of things a lot of tension accumulates in our back and then

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our neck.

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And I'm never surprised when somebody comes to me and needs

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help.

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From my personal trainer

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side

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that they carry around mental stuff, emotional stuff that is

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not helping them that is holding them back and it just settles in

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the muscles

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I tried to release all that stuff, try to be good with

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yourself right now right here.

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Take a deep breath through your nose and then exhale through the

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mouth. And know that your breath is such a unique tool

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to help you go through health, emotional health at times.

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It keeps you connected to yourself and centered and very

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clear in your mind.

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As soon as we breathe in a shallow manner, we tense up, our

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body is receiving signals, hormones, that there is danger,

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and we tense up.

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So focus on your breath on a daily basis. Be mindful with

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your thoughts. Because your subconscious is always

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listening. Your body is always listening to your thoughts and

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trust me, they don't know a sense of humor. They take the

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thoughts at face value.

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And they believe those thoughts, your body hurts your heart, your

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spleen, your pancreas, your lungs, your liver, and all the

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organs I'm forgetting here.

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They are being affected by self destructive thoughts.

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And how can we shift our thoughts to a more positive

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place? Well, my friend, we need to forgive ourselves and we need

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to have empathy and compassion and patience with ourselves.

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Then we can be at peace, then we can see that we're worthy. We

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are enough. We don't need to be fixed. We're healing at our

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divine time.

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Be gentle with yourself. And think of me the next time you

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observe your thoughts.

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And remember,

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you are endlessly precious.

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Thank you so much for listening to this episode. I hope I bring

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you peace and resolution

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and first and foremost value. I have so much respect for you. I

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have so much gratitude for you. Thank you so much for being on

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this journey with me. If you haven't already, subscribe. And

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Leave me a review on Apple podcast. It would mean the world

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to me and would help other people to find me.

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Thank you so much. I will be out there very soon.