Ep.8 Your darkness/ my darkness.

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hey there and welcome to the borealis experience i'm

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your host Aurora and very happy to be spending some time with

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you today i hope you're in a good place i hope you feel good

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hope you had a good day and are ready to unwind and relax now i

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live today i decided to read you two poems that i wrote a couple

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years back one is for a dear friend who committed suicide and

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the other is about anxiety and the anxiety that is my friend

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now but used to haunt me when i was little and in my teenage

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years so let's get started the day you will realize you can

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fight and hide your social anxiety anymore the day you will

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realize people saw your sadness shining through your fake smile

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all along the day you will realize you perfectly shaped

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your body to your egos liking but to your souls expressions

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detriment the day you will realize your friends knew you

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were putting on a show all along but they didn't leave they

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decided to stay and wait until you crumble not to see you fail

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but to see you wake up and break free the day you will see that

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helpless they're all alone but you fought against it rejected

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it didn't want to see it the day this day that day you will feel

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your breaking down and lose everything but it will be you

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breaking through he will feel like losing everything but

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actually you will be in the process of regaining everything

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you will learn to trust without thinking you will learn to love

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fearlessly you will learn to live and breathe again and most

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importantly you will learn to listen to your heart again dear

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veronica now the second one is called anxiety you wit my

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anxiety is sitting on the edge of my bed at night i know her

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well came to visit for the first time when i was eight and nine

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and 10 she left for a solid amount of time to then come back

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in a violent way she used to surprise me and debilitate me

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she was the main cause of me being bullied and feeling

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different she was the one that made me feel handicapped for so

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long i embrace you now and i can say that i love you now because

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he taught forced me to see how sensitive i am and on how wrong

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of a path i was on my depression came to visit for the first time

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when i was 11 was he around all along until now i don't know but

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i know that this glorious little which led me astray for too many

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years she made me abuse my body she made me neglect my people or

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cling to them unhealthily she made me feel lonely when i could

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have felt alone she made me feel small and crippled but i love

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her now i understand her now today she makes me relate to the

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most precious friends teachers and people

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well well thank you for listening this was a part of my

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darkness that i shared with you today and i think we all have

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darkness and light in our soul and in our life and that is just

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the way you feel about it perceive it and handle it that

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defines how happy you are for the longest time i was not aware

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of my darkness i was just I don't know how to say it. I was

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just operating on a very different level at a very

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different speed and living in a blind, avoidance and trying to

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push away that darkness. But I came to learn that you can run

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away from it, you can't hide it from people who truly love you.

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You will irritate people who love you, if you don't embrace

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it, because they can clearly see it, they can cut through that

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bullshit. And if you are the one who is in avoidance, then how

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can they properly relate to you. So what I encourage people to do

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is talk about their darkness with a friend they trust with a

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person they trust because it's so important to be okay with

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your darkness. I'm sending my love out there and I will be