Ep.8 Are you living your life or somebody else's w/ Josh Zepess

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Ah

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Hello, Hello, and welcome to the Borealis experience. I'm your

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host Aurora, and I'm very excited to have Josh zepess.

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With me today. He is an identity archaeologist. And yeah, he's

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just a lighthouse out there who shines a slide so brightly that

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when you come across his videos, when you come across his

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website, you feel just drawn into his energy and his mission.

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I'm extremely excited to have him here today because I pick

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out heart driven leaders, leaders who went through some

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stuff in the past, and then were able to liberate themselves from

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old structures that were not serving them anymore. And yeah,

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I find that very interesting to speak to heart driven leaders,

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because we need more of them out there. We need less ego driven

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leaders, we need more heart driven leaders.

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So yeah, extremely blessed for Josh, making the time to be with

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us today.

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At first, I would like you to tell us a little bit about your

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background. Obviously, I read a little bit about you, but people

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who are listening, maybe didn't have the time to look into your

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bio. Where are you coming from? And what are the struggles that

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you had to go through in order to then connect deeply with your

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mission and yourself again, welcome to the show, Josh

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septons. Your thank you so much, sir, to be able to share with

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you, thank you for allowing me to share time. Hopefully I could

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share some wisdom and knowledge and my experience. So I like to

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say I grew up as a soldier. I grew up as the good soldier. I

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did everything I was told to do. Like, you know, yes, sir. Yes,

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ma'am. I was an obedient person. And I was the first one my

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family go to college. And that was that was my I was I was it

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was drilled into me from a young age, Josh, go to school, get

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good grades, go to college, get the safe, secure job, put into

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your 401k All these things were told to do. And I did them. And

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I thought I was successful. I thought whoa, hey, I made it.

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This must be what life is about.

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And so as I spent 20 years in corporate America, just being

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that shy, negative skeptical, introverted engineer, and I

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thought that that was it. And then one day, everything I

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thought was right wasn't so right. I just wasn't as happy as

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I wanted to be. I knew something was off. You know, when you get

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that feeling like, you almost are seeing the code in the

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matrix. You seen these glitches and like, Man, I'm just not

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supposed to be here. I wasn't as I didn't have the money I

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wanted. I didn't have the lifestyle I wanted. And I just

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wasn't free.

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And you know, freedom. That honestly is my favorite effort

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nowadays. Because no, it wasn't I had a different effort,

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favorite effort in corporate America. I'll let you all guess.

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But now my favorite effort is freedom. And and I believe that

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on every level, physically, mentally.

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I said, I can't do this anymore. I want out of corporate America,

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I need to do something on my own. And I got into the

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financial industry. I got into the gym industry. I was a

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competitive bodybuilder I was running franchise gyms. That was

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fantastic. And then one day I said, Wait a minute. Timeout.

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Josh, stop trying to make money for a second. What are you

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really good at? What is your genius? What is your real

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talent? What is that thing you could do better than anyone

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else? The thing that is easy for you to do? What are those

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things? I made a list? And then I said okay, how can I bring

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this value to the world? How can I take these things and make

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money with it? And that's where identity archaeologist was born.

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That's what led me to find like, I just started with me first

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instead of with what makes money and I said, I'm gonna find a way

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to take me and make money with me, because I think everyone

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should get paid for being themselves. Yes, yes, no, that's

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so very inspiring. And I feel that is a very sustainable and

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healthy way to approach success and business. Everything else

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that you do is to please others to fit in. And like you say on

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on your mission statement there. It's gonna make us sick. Right

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like cancer, I strongly believe is not something that just comes

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out of the air. It is

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When you are constantly pushing against yourself and rejecting

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yourself and not accepting yourself, and

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it's a, it's a very courageous step that you took there. And I

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know there's a couple of people out there who try to get on a

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new path.

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But they are met with resistance, inner like, doubt,

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self doubt, but also from their family and you know, the group

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of people they surrounded themselves. And it is very hard

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to keep pushing for your mission to keep fighting for yourself.

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When you feel all of a sudden you threatening the sense of

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belonging.

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Did you experience that when you first started out? And how did

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you deal with that? You must have felt so lonely. And how did

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you not fall back? But you fell forward? Yes, yes. Excellent

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question. And I always tell people, I say if you're not

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getting resistance to something, you're going in the wrong

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direction. That if I if I'm not getting doubted, I'm not happy.

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Like I'm not doing something right. That it's not supposed to

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be easy. Bruce Lee says, never pray for an easy life. Pray for

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the strength to endure a difficult one. Yeah. So it's not

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about expect life's easy, and that's okay. It's just is the

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hard part worth it? Are you going, right? Everybody wants to

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glory, but they don't want to go through the story. Right? They

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don't want to go through the pain. But we got to, that's how

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it works. People think success is over here and failures over

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here. So if I'm in the middle, I just gotta run towards success

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where success Josh, I don't want to go towards failure. But

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that's wrong. That's incorrect. Failure is right next to

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success. Failure is in between you and success. You've got to

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go through failure to get to success. That's the only way.

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So to your to your question. I had two kinds of people with

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actually, there's actually three kinds of people we're going to

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meet when we go out and try and do something big. There's the

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naysayers, I call them which are like the cheerleaders. These are

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this is Mom, this is dad, maybe this is your best friend, the

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ones that are like, I'm there for you, man. Whatever you need.

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I'm there. You can count on me. And they're really cheering you

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on. And then you got the naysayers. These are the ones

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that want to tear you down. What do you think about doing that

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for you can't do that you're no good at this. Keep your safe,

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secure job at the mall. You're you don't need to worry about

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that. Keep your head down, stop, stop trying to do something big.

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Those are the naysayers. Then you get the fence sitters in

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between, which are most people they're like, I'm not going to

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say anything, but I'm going to see what happens. They're just

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kind of watching. So I say all three of these people are great.

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But let's talk about just the to the naysayers you need. When you

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fall down, when you scrape a knee when you're bloodied and

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muddied and you're on the field and you're like, I just can't

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anymore. You need these people to pick you up. You need that

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person to just listen to you or to kind of like dust the mud off

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and say, Come on, man. Come on. We can do this still. But you

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know what, I need more. And what I needed more personally, I

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needed my naysayers. My naysayers are my tacklin fuel.

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That's what I call them. They they're the ones that I said,

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You know what? I'm never gonna let them say I told you so.

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There there were the ones that were that kept me going that

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that was my honestly my true fuel.

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Because if you want to get me to do anything, tell me I can't do

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it. Gotta my way. Yeah, that's simple. Yeah.

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Wilder warrior. No, this is like very, very inspiring and

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empowering. And, yeah, to just tell people out there and also

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myself that just pushed through it self doubt is normal, you

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know, even Joe Rogan, or whoever you look up to whoever was your

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mentor, they went through those stages of self doubt, as well.

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And sometimes we feel that successful people they were just

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born that way, they have an easy life. And it's not the case, it

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is not the case. And we cannot just Yes, see ourselves as the

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victim and the others as the heroes and we don't deserve that

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path. That's total BS. We all have similar chances, and we

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have to just see opportunity and at every corner

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of life, reminds me of my favorite C word, by the way,

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which is courage. Courage, it's very myths. It's a misconception

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that it's the absence of fear. Like courageous people have no

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fear. That's not true. Courageous, people are frickin

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afraid. They really, really afraid the differences. They

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don't let their fear stop them from moving forward. They just

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do it anyways. And that's, that's so so powerful if you can

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develop your courage. In other words, do what you got

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ready to do the right thing? In spite of your fear? Yeah,

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nothing can stop you. Yeah, no, that's beautiful and something

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that we should write down and have on our fridge to see every

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day. Because every day we have a new opportunity to push through

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and not be, like paralyzed by our emotions.

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I just watched your your little video about the importance, like

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when people ask you, what do you do in life? And the importance

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to know yourself? And how to answer and how to ask the right

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questions in order to set yourself apart from others. And

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I feel it doesn't only apply when it comes to business, it

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applies like, on our whole life, like how do you feel about

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yourself? How do you feel when you enter the room and join

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people that you never saw before? Can we dig a little

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deeper here when it comes to the questions that we need to ask

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ourselves? Yes, yes, absolutely. So now we're getting some be

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called identity, or self worth. Like, I always tell people, no

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one's going to respect you until you respect you. Every form of

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respect, or power or identity or self worth starts here.

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So

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you're right. It doesn't just apply to business. It applies to

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our personal life. In fact, I believe that business and life

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should not be separate.

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I think you should get paid for being yourself, right? I think

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that we should be able to bring our humanity to our business, we

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should be able to be ourselves, because that's our true

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uniqueness. And that's where our power is.

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Now, society rules, they'll tell you to know, be professional,

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you got to act a certain way, you got to put on a facade, you

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have to pretend to be perfect. Forget that crap. I'm telling

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you, the way business is going nowadays, that is bad advice,

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you got to be you. Because that's the one thing that can't

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be duplicated. Anyone can copy your business or your job, you

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know, someone can come in, and they can put someone else in

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your job and your position. But they can't replace you. Right?

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They your what you bring to the table, your story, your mission,

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your values, your stand, the reason why you got out of bed in

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the morning, all those things. If you're clear on those things,

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there's nothing sexier than when you walk into a room knowing all

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that, and your energy issues. Like people just feel it. It's

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it's kind of like when you walk into a room and people are like,

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I don't know what she does. But she knows what she does. And I

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want to find out I needed to go talk to this person that's

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attractive, that's magnetically attractive. And that's what you

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want to be in life. To get places. You've got to love

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yourself. You've got to really, really take stock. And if

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there's something you don't like about yourself, work on changing

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it, get some help read a book, find a mentor. There are ways to

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keep improving. That's the key. Yeah, yeah, no, absolutely. And

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I think of all the people now who are unhappily single and

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there it applies to, right. If you know who you are, what you

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want, what do you represent, you will shine your light and you

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will attract the people in your life that are meant to be in

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your life. So very, very powerful statement. And then

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three other questions. There's actually three very important

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questions just in general, I do courses on goal crushing,

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because I like seeing people achieve things. These are the

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three most foundational questions if you can answer

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these, you can accomplish anything in life. What do you

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want, specifically? Number one, what exactly do you want? And I

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mean with clarity, you got to see it in your mind. You got to

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be able to like see it perfectly like feel it, touch it, taste

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it, smell it, hold it. What do you want? Exactly? That's the

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question number one if you can answer that good.

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Why must you have it? Now why do you want it Why do you want it

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to bed? It's kind of a false question. Why must you have it

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what happens if you don't get it? Well life go on. If life is

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gonna go on I feel like yeah, you know if I don't get it no

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big deal. Go back to number one set a bigger goal. So number two

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is why must you have it who's going to be hurt if you don't

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get it? Who's going to die who's going to be injured like and

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then question number three is how are you going to get it?

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Because once you know where you are, and once you know exactly

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what you want, the middle will work itself out. There's always

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a how if I know I'm in Florida, and I want to get to New York, I

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know if I

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I'm gonna eventually get there. As long as I go north whether I

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drive ride a bicycle do somersaults.

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Do the mamba right whatever i It doesn't matter. As long as I go

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north. I know because I know where I am in Florida. I know my

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destination. I will find a way to get

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out there through learning through learning how the right

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environment, the good right associations, so know exactly

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what you want, know why you must have it and know how you're

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going to get it, you can answer those three questions. You're

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absolutely unstoppable in anything in life or business.

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It sounds a little bit like calibrating your internal

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compass, to no matter what focus on, you know, the direction you

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want to go and make sure that every day or every week you do a

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step towards that go. And what I wanted to add to what you said

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previously about,

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like being authentic and doing your job, because of yourself,

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and what you believe you are best in and feels best for you.

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People can sense it, as well, like the trustworthiness factor

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for instance, I remember, you know, greasy real estate agents

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or the greasy person at the bank, when you know, they're

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doing this job because someone told them to or because they

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want to please some kind of expectation. And you can sense

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whenever a person is doing it from the heart. And those are

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the people that we tend to trust more and give our money to and

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open up to, because they do it from a very authentic place. And

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not from a place of expectations and,

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you know, weird intentions.

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We're all animals, and I feel we can sense these things. And

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sometimes it is hard to put a finger on it. But you make it

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very clear.

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What is important to, to bring into this world and how to

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communicate our mission. And when we talk about lighthouse,

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for instance, you speak about lighthouse and how

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you see a job shouldn't feel like a job, but it should feel

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like yeah, an extension of your life.

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How did you like how can we imagine your lifestyle now? Like

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how do you bring work and pleasure? And like Time Out

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relaxing time? How do you balance it all?

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Excellent question. So real quick on what you just said.

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You know, the one thing that trustworthy people don't say,

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they don't say trust me. Right? That's,

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I always tell people I say, if someone says Trust me, the last

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thing you're probably going to do is trust them. So if anyone

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who's listening is in sales, if you have a job in sales, which

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is very common,

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stop selling, stop selling, that you don't need to convince

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people you don't need to tell them, hey, trust me, I got the

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best products I got stopped convincing people instead of

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selling. Start sharing.

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Sharing what Josh well sharing why you care. People want to

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know why you care before they care what you know, start

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sharing why you care, start sharing value, start just

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looking at it as that person that you're talking to, how can

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I helped this person? How can I provide value to their day,

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whether or not they become my client is irrelevant, at this

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point. Provide some value, help them out. Give them some good

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advice, because you're the expert, right? If you're selling

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something, the expert in your field or industry and help that

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person out, that person will appreciate it so much, they

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probably will become your client. But if you go out and

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with like you were saying the slimy

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saleswoman kind of pitch, it's no good. It's fake. And people

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are sniffing that stuff out like crazy. So stop selling. Yeah.

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So your question was, please Oh, no problem. No problem. It was

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how do you balance everything? Like the work life the like,

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pleasure and sports and family relationships? Yeah.

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Excellent. So by the way, I liked doing lots of different

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things. So this is a great question. I run obstacle course

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races. In fact, I'm doing one in seven weeks and 10,000 foot

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mountains in Mexico City, doing a 13 mile obstacle course. I

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love doing things like this. So here's what I do because I have

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to train for out of time. I do something called time blocking.

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I use a calendar is very simple. But here's the key. I schedule

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in my time with my clients, which I don't call work by the

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way. I refuse to call but I do work. It's way too easy for me.

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It's wait.

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I enjoy it too much to classify it as work. I just say time with

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my clients time where I get to play. So I have my work time

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their schedule. I have time to create I like poetry. I like

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writing stuff. I like articles copywriting time for that.

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And I schedule in time for fun.

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That's the part people miss. Because when you don't schedule

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and fun if you don't say, You know what I'm taking this two

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hour block, and I'm gonna watch a movie on Netflix. But I got to

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do all my other time blocks first, right, I have to go, I

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gotta get my work done, I have to do this, I have to do this.

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And I'm gonna schedule and fun. The problem is, if you don't

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schedule and fun, guess what happens, your fun becomes a

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distraction to your work. And you start missing your work, and

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then you start wasting time and nothing gets done. So the real

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key to time blocking is schedule it and put it on a calendar, I

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use Google Calendar, put it down time with my family, from 6pm to

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8pm. But then from 830 to 930. I'm working on my book, I'm

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writing another couple pages of my book, or I'm reading

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something for personal development. Like at, you've

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just got to put this stuff in and then be accountable. Just

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follow what you say you're going to do. Be accountable to

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yourself. But other whole topic, that's another challenge. Oh, I

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love it so much. And I love that

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you make it important, like leisure time. Fun times are

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important, you know, the playfulness, we cannot lose this

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otherwise, because it brings us back to our heart and makes us

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relax and recharges our battery.

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Like some people think yeah, that's just a waste of time.

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Like I have to focus on my goals and family and friends can just

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wait out there. And there might be phases where where it's okay.

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But to see the big picture, it's very important to have these

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downtimes. And to schedule them in is, you're the first person

Unknown: 00:21:45

who says that it's it's very important, and it sounds maybe

Unknown: 00:21:50

weird and not romantic. But you're basically making time for

Unknown: 00:21:55

your partner or your friends and you're fully there. You're not

Unknown: 00:21:59

half hearted on your phone, you're fully there, sharing your

Unknown: 00:22:03

presence, like you're doing with me right now. And then after 45

Unknown: 00:22:08

minutes, we say goodbye and move on to a new task. And it's it's

Unknown: 00:22:14

very important.

Unknown: 00:22:16

I have one last question.

Unknown: 00:22:20

If there was three things

Unknown: 00:22:24

that you want the world to

Unknown: 00:22:28

take with, like if we say, all your books, or your videos, or

Unknown: 00:22:35

your posts were deleted?

Unknown: 00:22:39

What are the three things

Unknown: 00:22:43

that you would like for people to take away from you?

Unknown: 00:22:48

Oh, wow. On the spot question. This is a good one. Yeah, take

Unknown: 00:22:53

your time. There's no time pressure. So let me get I'll

Unknown: 00:22:57

give you the first one. For sure. Because I get people ask

Unknown: 00:23:00

me like, what's your number one piece of advice? Number one

Unknown: 00:23:04

thing? And I'll just I'll just say this in general. Don't

Unknown: 00:23:09

listen to broke people on how to get wealthy. Don't listen to the

Unknown: 00:23:13

unhappy on how to be happy, the unsuccessful and how to be

Unknown: 00:23:15

successful you catch the drift? Yes, when you're taking advice

Unknown: 00:23:19

from people, it doesn't matter how much you like them, how much

Unknown: 00:23:22

you love them how much they may care for you. Make sure they are

Unknown: 00:23:25

competent, or they're at least an expert in that area. Please

Unknown: 00:23:29

take advice from the right people. That doesn't mean like

Unknown: 00:23:32

I'm sure mom loves you. Right? My mom loves me. But guess what,

Unknown: 00:23:35

my mom's never done. She's never run a business. So I'm not gonna

Unknown: 00:23:38

say Hey, Mom, how do you run a business? She's just, she's

Unknown: 00:23:42

still a wonderful person. But she's not the right person to

Unknown: 00:23:45

ask that question. So be very, very careful that you don't

Unknown: 00:23:50

confuse competence with familiarity. I see that way too

Unknown: 00:23:54

often.

Unknown: 00:23:56

Well, my dad says this Well, great.

Unknown: 00:23:59

in that field, well, no, but okay.

Unknown: 00:24:03

You might you might be steering you might be getting steered

Unknown: 00:24:05

wrong there. So that's the first thing always ask that question.

Unknown: 00:24:09

Who am I following?

Unknown: 00:24:13

Let's see. Boy.

Unknown: 00:24:18

I would answer this question.

Unknown: 00:24:21

If I were paid in happiness, I'll just ask you in terms of if

Unknown: 00:24:24

you're paid in happiness. So happiness is now the national

Unknown: 00:24:27

currency. Right? money's gone. What would you be doing? If you

Unknown: 00:24:31

had to provide value to the world? What would that be? And I

Unknown: 00:24:35

would compare that to what you're currently doing now.

Unknown: 00:24:38

If they're different, that's okay. Keep what you're doing

Unknown: 00:24:42

now. Start working on what what makes you happy, where that joy

Unknown: 00:24:49

is gonna come from? Where that passion that genius?

Unknown: 00:24:53

I got voracious about personal development. I started reading

Unknown: 00:24:57

every book I could. I was you

Unknown: 00:25:00

What I believe and what I actually I know is true. We're

Unknown: 00:25:02

all born for greatness. Every single one, born for greatness.

Unknown: 00:25:07

It's just that we're conditioned to fail. We're conditioned to

Unknown: 00:25:09

struggle, we're taught how to lose. Isn't that crazy? We're

Unknown: 00:25:12

actually taught how to lose in life. But here's the good news.

Unknown: 00:25:16

If you can be taught how to lose, you can forget how to

Unknown: 00:25:19

lose, you can be untaught. So my big question when I left

Unknown: 00:25:24

corporate America was, wait a minute, Josh, get all these

Unknown: 00:25:27

people that are so successful, what are they doing different

Unknown: 00:25:30

than me? How do they think, what are they doing? I want to know,

Unknown: 00:25:36

just started diving into all kinds of nonfiction. Write all

Unknown: 00:25:40

kinds of books about these people about mindset,

Unknown: 00:25:43

subconscious. And look, I'll be honest, a lot of this stuff at

Unknown: 00:25:47

first was woowoo. Like, you started talking to me about, you

Unknown: 00:25:51

know, affirmations and all this stuff. I'd be like, What the

Unknown: 00:25:54

heck are you talking? I remember, I'm that engineer. I'm

Unknown: 00:25:56

like, That skeptic. But I had to learn, there was something I was

Unknown: 00:26:01

missing. And I just dove in. And I said, I gotta find out what

Unknown: 00:26:05

these people know that I don't. So I had to suppress my ego. I

Unknown: 00:26:10

had to like, empty my cup, so to speak, and assume I don't know,

Unknown: 00:26:14

at all. And I had to go find some answers and be open to

Unknown: 00:26:17

things I never thought possible. Open up a whole new world. So

Unknown: 00:26:22

that's a that's a big thing I would recommend to people just

Unknown: 00:26:25

be open and start voraciously reading anything that changes

Unknown: 00:26:30

the way you think, hmm. Wow, this is so powerful. And

Unknown: 00:26:35

nowadays, like books are at the tips of our fingers. And you can

Unknown: 00:26:42

download a Kindle or audiobooks. And there's really no excuse,

Unknown: 00:26:48

not at all podcast, right? There's tons of entrepreneurial

Unknown: 00:26:52

podcasts. And like, my last guest said, we live like

Unknown: 00:26:56

Emperor's you know, even emperors back then they didn't

Unknown: 00:27:00

have running water hot and cold. They didn't have food all the

Unknown: 00:27:04

time, they didn't have all the books that we can imagine

Unknown: 00:27:08

having. And there's just so much abundance, and so much good

Unknown: 00:27:14

content out there. And we have to be a little bit selective at

Unknown: 00:27:17

times. But I really love your your three pieces of advice and

Unknown: 00:27:22

everything you said

Unknown: 00:27:24

previously, I know it's going to bring a lot of value to people,

Unknown: 00:27:29

it's going to make people feel hopeful and empowered. And

Unknown: 00:27:35

you're very, like approachable. I know that our first meeting

Unknown: 00:27:39

didn't take place. And right away, you were open to

Unknown: 00:27:42

reschedule. And you're also a very humble person, I feel. And

Unknown: 00:27:49

it is so important to, to Yeah, be humble and to share with

Unknown: 00:27:56

people and then people will trust you and want to connect

Unknown: 00:28:00

with you. And I learned so much with this 32 minutes here that

Unknown: 00:28:06

we spent together. I'm so endlessly grateful for having

Unknown: 00:28:09

connected with you. And I'm wishing you all the best and

Unknown: 00:28:13

health. And yeah, we stay connected. Absolutely. And it's

Unknown: 00:28:19

just a pleasure to share with everyone in the audience.

Unknown: 00:28:21

Hopefully everyone got a nugget something. And you're right.

Unknown: 00:28:25

It's not all me. I'm just the messenger. I just feel part of

Unknown: 00:28:29

my life is to help share this kind of information. So

Unknown: 00:28:32

hopefully it's impacted people and that's all I can ask for it

Unknown: 00:28:35

was one nugget. That's it. The only take it all just take one

Unknown: 00:28:39

thing and put it into action. That's all I asked. Yes.

Unknown: 00:28:43

Beautiful. Thank you so much just for being here today. And

Unknown: 00:28:47

you have a wonderful rest of your day. You as well. Thank you

Unknown: 00:28:51

Aurora.