Ep.17 Addiction and 12 steps out of it. [self-reliance]

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Hello, and welcome to the very Borealis experience.

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Today, I'm very excited to introduce you to James Olsen. He

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has been through the 12 step program, he has been struggling

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with addiction for quite some time and was able to recover

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now. And he will share his story from the sweet and very painful

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beginnings when he was a school kid, and also share his mission

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in helping and supporting others now, it is very dear to me to

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speak to people who have gone through that, because I feel

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there's a deep need in society, to see that addiction is not a

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choice. Addiction is a symptom. And we have to go down to the

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root and heal trauma. Thank you so much for listening. James

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Olsen, here with you on the Borealis Experience podcast.

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Awesome. Well, thank you. Yeah, it was it was good to meet you

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and see that we kind of had similar interests, kind of

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helping others that are struggling in certain ways and

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trying to

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I guess better themselves or grow. So yeah,

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I was, I guess a little background of me is

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I

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for most of my earlier part of life, I struggled with addiction

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and alcoholism.

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It was

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a very destructive force in my life and

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had a negative fallout on my on me personally, and

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especially relationships to family, friends, girlfriends,

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things of that nature, children, that was probably the driving

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force was my relationship with my children, too change

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ultimately changing in look at pre covering or, or, or changing

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the way that my life was

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looking for a new path was the fact that that

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I was letting down my children as a father. So that was the

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driving force.

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I've ultimately what happened was I I ended up joining 12 Step

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programs, things like AAA

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and AAA which is necrotic synonymous ca cocaine anonymous

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with things of that nature i i use the

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gamut of of drugs and alcohol in when I was in my addiction using

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stages. And so I can definitely utilize a lot of different

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groups.

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And, yeah, it's

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not to blow my own horn or anything, but I feel like

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it was successful. Not that I'm finished in any way but but the

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transition from the way it used to be to what it is now is

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definitely a huge positive gain or or growth or or advantage as

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to what it used to be, it's no longer the way it used to be.

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And I definitely owe those programs and the principles and

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the ideals that they teach kind of in how to live in those

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programs to the reasoning near the factor that my life has

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gotten better. And I've been able to grow in these these ways

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in these situations. And yeah, if

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I did part of that those things are that I share my story and

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and tell you what, what it used to be like to show that I was

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there to what happened, knowing what was the changing the

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transition that took place, and then what it's like now

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and so to start that, you know

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what it used to be like was it was not good.

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To say the least it was the was part it was it was rough.

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And part of the stories that that it really started early. It

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was a long before you ever

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took my first drink or my first drug or my, you know, in

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it was probably the establishment of a low low self

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esteem or or low sense of self value. And those were those

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created long before I ever suffered from any sort of

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addiction or alcoholism or anything of those negative it

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was

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kind of surroundings and coping with surroundings coping with,

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with things that that projected ideas of, of less than

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part of that story is that I suffered from dyslexia. So it

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was just I just wasn't able to

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read or process

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words, or I didn't have a problem with speech I had a

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problem with with reading literal reading part it didn't.

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I watched the in school kids around me be able to do with the

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ease. And it wasn't like that, for me, it was very hard and

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extremely confusing. And I couldn't figure it out, and I

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just couldn't grasp. And then

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it was so hard that I just gave up.

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But

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sorry about that I'm using my phone. So whenever I get a call,

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it picks me

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up. So we were what happened was it was it was so hard in school

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to actually read. And

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as anybody knows, reading is a fundamental part of education.

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Like that's, you need that cool to go forward in education. So

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when you when you don't have that, what it does is, is it

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creates a question why? Why is this hard for me when it's easy

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for everyone else? I must be let me know. And I think it's small

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children. And when we don't fit into boxes, that everyone else

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seems to, it creates an idea that that I'm less than, I'm not

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good enough. It's just a natural place that our young brains take

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us, we we somehow see ourselves as an is established, what it

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did was establish

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a poor sense of self in which wasn't, so whether it was just,

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I was built different than than others, you know, and it's a

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very common thing to I think they said one out of five has

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dyslexia.

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But

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they ate a another kind of weird stat is that

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over 50% of males incarcerated in like, the

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juvenile males incarcerated, over 50% of them have dyslexia.

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So it's a very formidable

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part that I just don't know if it's been addressed or not, you

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know, that that you're sent into a system where, where

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you have to read to be a part of it. And then when you can't,

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you're kind of left at the wayside. Yeah, you're set up for

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failure as a result. Yeah, yeah. As a result, you you really,

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it's it, it creates beliefs and whether you know, subconsciously

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or not, it really affects people. And yeah, so that's kind

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of one of the genesis of of you know, my my

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bike poor path choices, I guess, was definitely the some of the

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ideals that I believed in back then. And so, but I'm a big

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believer with every negative there's positive and part of

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that positive was I had to I couldn't give up and so what I

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ended up doing was I ended up figuring out how to

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figure things out without reading you know, where you

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would look at a newspaper instructions and you know,

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gather the information I had to gather information in other

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ways. A lot of it was pitchers a lot of it was watching others

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what they were doing.

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So it made me hyper

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aware of, of others my surroundings, it may mean you

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know, I wasn't able to like just look at a sign and know what it

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is the information on it. I had to find other ways to gather

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information.

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And to this day, it serves me well. It's definitely an

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advantage that I have, you know, it's a kind of a blessing in

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disguise in the hardship but yeah,

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so yeah, it's it's also

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And you know that to be able to see those advantages in the in

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the hardship is definitely a byproduct of

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the attitude that I need to possess to get better from my,

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from my addiction in my, I need to find the positives and in

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situations or gratitude, a lot of people see it as gratitude,

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it's a fundamental part to living a positive life is having

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gratitude.

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So to go for, you know, and I guess, to continue with my story

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I went on to,

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I think is every young teenager drinking and partying and

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experimenting, and from the get go.

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I liked how it made me feel, I had felt that way, all of a

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sudden, I wasn't worried about feeling less than I wasn't

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worried that you're better than me, I wasn't worried that you

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were whatever, you know, I could I felt equal to you, for the

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first time. The problem is, is not not ever naturally feeling

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that I went overboard with it. So it was never, I was never a

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good I never had

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any sort of self control when it came to drinking or partying. It

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was this feels good, I need more, give me all of it, like,

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Don't ever make it stop. And that that just led me down a

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definite,

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you know,

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a rabbit hole that I couldn't get myself out of. And it

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continued

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straight from when my first time to, to actually buy my first

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time going into a treatment center. And that was one of that

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the ages of I think 20 or 21. I can't remember but around that

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area around that time.

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And I went in that I was dating a girl at the time. And she she

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had approached my parents and said, you know James has a

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problem. He's, you know, I think his drinking is out of control.

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What can we do about it? My dad was a nurse at the time, he

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looked into it and found me a treatment center.

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This was all done without me knowing.

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I think I came home for like a Sunday dinner one time and my

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girlfriend and my parents basically added

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intervention on me and said, Hey, you got to probably that,

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you know, your dad's set up this this facility that you need to

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go to and spend a couple of weeks there and address this.

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This out of control drinking your You're ruining everything.

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You know, and thank God that I had a loving family that did

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something like that. Yeah. And

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so you know, it.

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I went off, I did the treatment who would think it was a three

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week treatment. It was in Claire's home.

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And I sobered up.

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I I quit drinking I grabbed on I liked what they talked about,

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like, you know,

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I, I wanted to change I could see, you know, I could see that

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I needed to change. But

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I just didn't know enough about addiction and the fact that

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wanting to change isn't enough, that scene, the problem isn't

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enough that I need to do the ideas you need to commit to a

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new way of life. And that means, you know, at any cost, it has to

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become the most important thing in your life.

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So

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when I got out of the treatment center, I, I

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I tried to change everything like

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I was still in the blame blaming I, I'm in the wrong city. I'm

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with the wrong girl. If I had got the wrong job. So I changed

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all those things thinking that that if I change those things,

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then I I would know I just had to you know I speak of it. Like

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I tried everything. I just had the comp nation. So I needed to

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adjust everything around me, and then I would become better. So I

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moved to a different town. I broke up with that girl. I got

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another job. And for a while it worked. But the problem was it

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was I was still there. I was the problem. And I just changed

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things around me without changing myself. Yeah. So I

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think I stayed sober for

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what a year.

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So

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think a little bit over a year maybe, and

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get started hanging out with new people started, you know,

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these new people in the new town a, I think a factor of somebody

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that's struggling is we attract like minded people. So if you

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once again, they ended up with people.

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Well, that wasn't us.

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And

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I kind of graduated, I wasn't drinking, but all of a sudden,

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in the big city, and being a small town kids, I was

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introduced to these these drugs and that kind of lifestyle. And

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once again, I felt something that I was longing for the

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acceptance and kind of feeling good about myself. And

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I went pretty wild with that.

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I guess the differences with

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drinking and from going to drugging is is that

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it's, it gets financially hefty quick with drugs, the money adds

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up fast. Drinking, it doesn't seem to do that. You go to the

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bar, have a,

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you know, a long, drawn out night, and you might have spent

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100 bucks

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a night of drugging, we're talking you can rack up 1000s.

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It's not even the same ballgame. And so I ran into financing

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problems quick. And in order to solve those, I found somebody

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that was willing to let me sell, sell their drugs for them to pay

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for my own.

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And

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the problem is, is I'm an addict that I have no manage no money

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management skills, and I got into problems in that situation

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as well. But those are really big problems. And I had some

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scary people that I owed some scary numbers to, and

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how to desperation.

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So this would have been, I guess,

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almost a 10 year span.

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And so I believe I was just under 30. When I, I

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was in a pretty scary situation. Basically.

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Some people came to me, and they met business and said, you this

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is the number that you owe us. And you have this amount of time

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to pay and left it at that. And I knew what they meant that my

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number was up unless I got this, this money to them.

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And

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I was I was scared, because

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I kind of went

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prude and just a dark place. It was like, Well,

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I'm not gonna let them take me out. I'll take myself. I ended

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up standing on the edge of a bridge and was trying to get the

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guts to basically throw myself off this bridge. And I couldn't

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do it. I was. I was a wimp.

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And thank God for it. But I returned to my apartment. I was

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dating that girl at the time. I broke down and told her what had

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happened and what I just come back from. And she told me she

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was from Lethbridge as well. She took me to Lethbridge. And

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I think it was a couple of days after that she went Lethbridge

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and ended up in our living your parents living room and they sat

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me down and said, you know, this girl our daughter's told us what

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is going on with you. And we want to help you we're willing

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to lend you this money to get you out of this situation. But

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here's the contract track withdrawn, withdrawn up. And it

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states that you're gonna pay us back all this money in this

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amount of time. And that part of the contract is you're gonna go

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to treatment again, and you're gonna get clean and sober.

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And so, you know, I signed him absolutely, I'll definitely do

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that. I'm open to that. So I signed you know, signed in and

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got these these people off my back and went to treatment again

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once again, and

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it was a great good experience but the problem was I didn't do

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it for myself. I did it to a piece that wasn't really in the

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mind state to to fix to fix me for me.

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And

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so I would I went and did you know and I sobered up. But then

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to pay back the money that you know, her parents had led me. I

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went back to those guys and started selling again, but I was

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using

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so

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I, you know, I started selling drugs again

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made the money back really fast. Like it was a world of

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difference when, you know, when I'm not high not using.

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I was I was really good at. And but the problem is I'm back in

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that life

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around those people I paid, I paid those I paid their parents

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off, like, in a quarter of the time that I was did a lot and me

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too.

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But I was back to that life. And

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again, once again, it led me down the same road, I ended up

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using again. And kind of, I never went back to the

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problematic or the chaos that I was once at but I was definitely

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in.

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I wasn't I wasn't

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I wasn't living a healthy lifestyle, let's just say that.

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It was still a lot of turmoil, a lot of a lot of heartbreak a lot

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of, you know, just

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just rough times. And

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yeah, I've tried it. You know, I, like I said it was trying to

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figure out the combination and like, what can I do? How can I

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make it better? What am I missing? What's what's not

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lining up? They just couldn't put the pieces together. And,

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and I ended up meeting this girl. And

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she really believed that she believed me when I couldn't

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believe myself. That was super attractive that I don't think I

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was attracted to her as much as I was attracted the way that she

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saw me or felt about men and and so it was she was someone that

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he knew from from my using life, and she had got herself clean.

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And part of the deal was do you want to date me? You need to get

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take care of this problem and get clean and sober. And so I

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did. I quit that I got rid of the drugs. But I continued to

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drink. And I wasn't good at drinking either. But I tried to

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maintain it. And so we started we ended up starting a family I

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did marry her. We started the family and I I just kept

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throwing things at this this this problem I would get I would

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get this woman's gonna fix it. No, she didn't fix it. I'm still

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having issues in my drink. Well, I'm gonna get a good career, I

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did that. And I tried to you know, that didn't help. I still

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was having issues with my my drinking in my party.

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Well, I'm gonna have kids that threw kids at it. And the thing

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was, is that did that I tried to I thought that if I

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checked off all the boxes to what society said is successful,

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then I would be I would be fixed. So I kept checking them

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off, I got married, I had kids, we bought the house, we bought

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all the toys. The problem was is that I was still sick. I was

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still I was still troubled, I was still I never fixed. It's

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like

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you know, it's like putting a band aid over a bullet.

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It's just not going to get better. Right? You're you're not

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doing you, you gotta go to the source of the problem. I was the

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source. So ultimately, what ended up happening was, you

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know, we were together for 14 years, we had four kids together

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and then and then I, I imploded again, I never, I never

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addressed the actual problem. The problem was me. And I ended

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up getting it was, you know, I think I put together three years

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I like my drinking got to a point where she was like, You

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need to stop drink, or I'm leaving. I'm like, okay, and I

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think I put together three years of just like, Will, but I was an

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awful person who was miserable. Did that's how I knew I had a

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problem.

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It wasn't actually drinking because when I took the drinking

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away, then I became a very miserable person. Like the

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problems didn't go away just because they, you know, I'm the

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problem. Until I fix me that it almost gets bailed drinking and

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drugging was a symptom of my problem. Yes, those kinds of

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that was kind of the cure to my problem. Yes, whenever I drank

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or use drugs, yes, I saw better, right. But the problem is that,

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that that cured to me or my issue that I felt using those

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drugs that cure and being another additional problem to

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the problem.

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And so,

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you know, when I lost, I lost my marriage. I lost my kid. You

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know, I just wasn't a fit father. I was

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She wasn't allowed to see my kids. I ended up losing my job,

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I was working in a coal coal mine offering huge trucks. And I

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had a safety infraction. And they ended up having to do a

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urine test on me. And

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it didn't turn out good. I think I identified four different

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substances in my urine on that test may end up losing my job.

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Part of the stipulation of losing my job was that

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I could go, I could just be done with them or address the problem

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and go and go to what is called an addiction analysis. That is a

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company that they send you to they have a psychologist and

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nurse and an addiction specialists speak with you kind

Unknown: 00:25:56

of interview and see if you have addiction problems, or if you

Unknown: 00:25:59

were just, this is a one one and done type thing. You know, they

Unknown: 00:26:04

want to know if you have the addiction personality. Well, the

Unknown: 00:26:09

problem was that a been through treatment twice already. I knew

Unknown: 00:26:13

what they were looking for. I spoke their language. I

Unknown: 00:26:16

understood what they were trying to look for Simpson, and I was

Unknown: 00:26:20

going to just bullshitted my way through. I was gonna say I went

Unknown: 00:26:23

to a party. I was having a rough night. And I these guys offered

Unknown: 00:26:28

me this stuff, and I did it.

Unknown: 00:26:31

I don't do it. Normally, I've never done it. I just I was

Unknown: 00:26:34

gonna lie, and I was gonna get off the hook.

Unknown: 00:26:38

So

Unknown: 00:26:40

I think it was a Tuesday. It was a long weekend. And I made an

Unknown: 00:26:43

appointment after the long weekend to go that Tuesday to

Unknown: 00:26:47

Calgary and get this this addiction analysis done. My plan

Unknown: 00:26:52

was I was going to bullshitted my way through

Unknown: 00:26:56

and kind of get them off my back. Well, that weekend was

Unknown: 00:27:00

also my son's birthday party in Lethbridge on Saturday. And so I

Unknown: 00:27:06

went down early, a friend of mine in in Lethbridge had said

Unknown: 00:27:11

why don't you come over? I was I was NBC was working in BC. So

Unknown: 00:27:17

he said come early, we'll you know, we'll have a host party.

Unknown: 00:27:23

And then

Unknown: 00:27:25

you can go to your son's birthday, and do whatever.

Unknown: 00:27:30

So I came that Thursday night. And I didn't leave that house

Unknown: 00:27:36

till Monday morning. I miss my son's fifth birthday party. And

Unknown: 00:27:41

it devastated me I was I was it rocked me pretty hard. And I was

Unknown: 00:27:47

tired.

Unknown: 00:27:49

I was tired of being a disappointment. And I

Unknown: 00:27:51

disappointed my son.

Unknown: 00:27:57

So as a result of that,

Unknown: 00:28:01

I changed my mind. I was like I'm gonna go to this. I'm going

Unknown: 00:28:05

to this addiction analysis tomorrow. And I'm going to tell

Unknown: 00:28:07

them everything, I'm going to be honest. And let the chips fall

Unknown: 00:28:12

where they may. I'll just I need change.

Unknown: 00:28:18

And I knew enough that that

Unknown: 00:28:21

being honest, was the doorway to that. And so when I went out

Unknown: 00:28:25

there,

Unknown: 00:28:27

I just told him the truth about what was going on my life. And

Unknown: 00:28:32

they, they all kind of looked at me and said, You You're you're,

Unknown: 00:28:38

you've got a problem. You're a classic addict.

Unknown: 00:28:42

Let's start you off, but you need to go and find a meeting in

Unknown: 00:28:45

your hometown. Can I Can I add something that so they found out

Unknown: 00:28:51

that you're an addict, and they made you feel shitty on top of

Unknown: 00:28:54

that, or were they somewhat compassionate?

Unknown: 00:28:58

They were compassionate, but they didn't hide the truth of

Unknown: 00:29:04

it. It was they were blood.

Unknown: 00:29:08

They were we've This is a classic addiction behavior.

Unknown: 00:29:15

We need to set up a, a

Unknown: 00:29:20

process to address this.

Unknown: 00:29:25

And so the first thing they told me to do is to go home, find a

Unknown: 00:29:31

meeting, go and start using these utilizing these meetings.

Unknown: 00:29:38

And I I went home and I was mad I didn't want to I got to these,

Unknown: 00:29:46

you know after treatment dates said you should try to find a

Unknown: 00:29:49

meeting and go to the meeting. And I was I just didn't see the

Unknown: 00:29:54

value in it. One of their most common

Unknown: 00:30:00

feelings are identifications with personal identification,

Unknown: 00:30:04

like how you identify yourself as an addict or an alcoholic, is

Unknown: 00:30:08

I'm different. I'm different. I'm different.

Unknown: 00:30:11

You know, example is the Ask any addict? Do you follow the speed

Unknown: 00:30:17

limit? 90% of them say no, that's for the rest of the

Unknown: 00:30:21

world. I'm a good driver, I drive way over the days, that's

Unknown: 00:30:26

for the people that don't know how to drive. I'm different. I

Unknown: 00:30:28

do I do it to say, then you say,

Unknown: 00:30:32

when you take Tylenol, how many do you take? Do you take the

Unknown: 00:30:35

recommended dose? Now? I know what I can use. I think that's

Unknown: 00:30:40

not good enough. I take six. You know, like, that's, that's our

Unknown: 00:30:44

attitude. And it's very common in addicts. And it's just, we

Unknown: 00:30:49

just don't we are unwilling to

Unknown: 00:30:53

get into this box. Because we've identified that those boxes

Unknown: 00:30:57

never work. We're never big. Yeah. So it's it's fundamental

Unknown: 00:31:02

in us that we don't identify with anybody else's controls.

Unknown: 00:31:06

Those are the rest of the population. We're different. We

Unknown: 00:31:08

do it our own way. And it's it, it will kill us that that I that

Unknown: 00:31:14

idea. Yes. And that fundamental way of seeing ourselves

Unknown: 00:31:18

differently, ultimately will kill us. Can I add some because,

Unknown: 00:31:23

yes, but your baby brain, your brain was not developed back

Unknown: 00:31:29

then when you entered school system, your baby brain was

Unknown: 00:31:35

destroyed, your confidence was destroyed, and you were shown

Unknown: 00:31:39

up, you don't fit in. So of course, you

Unknown: 00:31:44

run through life, knowing and feeling that you don't fit in.

Unknown: 00:31:49

So this has to be addressed. And it's natural, that addicts feel

Unknown: 00:31:55

that way because they will have made felt that way when they

Unknown: 00:31:58

were still growing their brain cells. So it's like, Absolutely,

Unknown: 00:32:05

ah,

Unknown: 00:32:06

and the worst part of both society is unless you learn the

Unknown: 00:32:10

climate, because society is built these boxes everywhere.

Unknown: 00:32:14

employment, education systems, financial systems, unless you

Unknown: 00:32:19

figure out how to get into make yourself fit in these boxes,

Unknown: 00:32:25

because they're everywhere. You're just not going to fit

Unknown: 00:32:29

into society, and not fitting into society is a hard way to

Unknown: 00:32:33

live. Oh, yeah. And is just going to appropriate behaviors

Unknown: 00:32:39

like addiction. Yeah, that's how I function. You have to wait, I

Unknown: 00:32:43

don't know.

Unknown: 00:32:45

Yeah, I don't fit into society. But so this is what I do. As an

Unknown: 00:32:50

as an entrepreneur.

Unknown: 00:32:52

I use alcohol I use drugs to to feel like I fit in.

Unknown: 00:32:59

So it's an idea that that

Unknown: 00:33:03

and I guess the beautiful part about a 12 step program is it is

Unknown: 00:33:09

it's a box.

Unknown: 00:33:11

And until you figure out how to fit into their parameters, or

Unknown: 00:33:17

live this way of life, it's not gonna work.

Unknown: 00:33:22

But they teach you how to climb in and, and give you a slow

Unknown: 00:33:28

entry, whereas usually,

Unknown: 00:33:30

society doesn't take their time with that. But that's one of the

Unknown: 00:33:33

fundamental parts of a 12 step program is learning how to adapt

Unknown: 00:33:39

to principles and ways of living.

Unknown: 00:33:42

And

Unknown: 00:33:44

one of the biggest fundamentals is living life on life's terms.

Unknown: 00:33:48

That's a hard idea to wrap around. But it's one of the

Unknown: 00:33:53

fundamentals of a 12 step program is accepting life for

Unknown: 00:33:57

the way it is.

Unknown: 00:34:00

Letting it letting it be, not always having to change it.

Unknown: 00:34:04

Because I have a real

Unknown: 00:34:07

a real addiction to, I call it genes in things. I just things I

Unknown: 00:34:14

tweak things to fit me. I never fit the situation I liked it. I

Unknown: 00:34:20

like to adjust things or, or tweak things that that it fits

Unknown: 00:34:25

my wants and desires. I don't fix my wants and desires to fix

Unknown: 00:34:30

things naturally. But what I've learned through these programs

Unknown: 00:34:34

is how to adjust myself to fit in to situations and ideals and

Unknown: 00:34:44

things of that nature. And then that's really helped me a lot.

Unknown: 00:34:49

And is there also a part in the program where it is about self

Unknown: 00:34:54

acceptance and finding your core again, starting to love

Unknown: 00:35:00

Have yourself or is it again, too much? Maybe trying to fit in

Unknown: 00:35:06

and to please and to,

Unknown: 00:35:09

to adapt instead of going inside and see, hey, this is how

Unknown: 00:35:13

beautiful and unique I am. And this is what I can bring to the

Unknown: 00:35:16

table like, do they bring you back to yourself to do they just

Unknown: 00:35:20

want to get back in? Well, we have, it's funny that you bring

Unknown: 00:35:25

that up, we have monitors seeing in some of these groups, and

Unknown: 00:35:32

it's that we are, we're fatally unique.

Unknown: 00:35:37

That's our problem. We're so so unique, that it's killing us.

Unknown: 00:35:44

So we don't really, it's, we have to be careful with that.

Unknown: 00:35:49

Okay, and I'll, I'll tell you why.

Unknown: 00:35:54

Sorry,

Unknown: 00:35:57

is that we won't follow these simple steps. Because we're so

Unknown: 00:36:05

unique, we need to change them to fit us.

Unknown: 00:36:09

They were built for everybody else. And that's our biggest

Unknown: 00:36:12

problem is that we never followed any of anything to

Unknown: 00:36:16

code, we've always tweaked them a little bit to fit our wants

Unknown: 00:36:20

and needs. Because we were, we see ourselves as unique. That's

Unknown: 00:36:24

the only way we identify. But it's not. So

Unknown: 00:36:32

sorry, I'm getting my phone's blown up. So what it's not that,

Unknown: 00:36:37

that we don't love ourselves, what we're taught is how to love

Unknown: 00:36:43

ourselves properly.

Unknown: 00:36:46

Because what we used to do is anything that felt good, we

Unknown: 00:36:50

thought we loved ourselves by getting it, I thought loving

Unknown: 00:36:53

myself was taking myself out for $100 meal, taking my

Unknown: 00:37:01

self to us. That's what's up. Self love, if you really analyze

Unknown: 00:37:06

it,

Unknown: 00:37:08

is about the long game and not the immediate case. And what I

Unknown: 00:37:12

mean by that is saying no to that pizza, because you know,

Unknown: 00:37:16

it's going to make you feel like shit, you know, the fact that

Unknown: 00:37:20

you can't get in your pants, two weeks down the road.

Unknown: 00:37:24

Or it's going to make you feel good right now. But it's not

Unknown: 00:37:27

going to make you feel good in the long run. That that that

Unknown: 00:37:31

bland, please the meal, rather, is a better way to do this.

Unknown: 00:37:36

Because in the long run, it's going to pay off or not buying

Unknown: 00:37:41

that new pair of shoes. Because you you need to save up and have

Unknown: 00:37:47

some savings and feel financially independent. You

Unknown: 00:37:50

know, you don't really need that. But it'll make you feel

Unknown: 00:37:54

good right now. But all like the long run, it's not going to it

Unknown: 00:38:00

would make you feel better to have that that amount in your

Unknown: 00:38:03

bank account, where if something did happen, you know that you

Unknown: 00:38:06

have, you have a lifeline to to address it. You know, those it

Unknown: 00:38:12

those are the ideas of the principles that we need to live

Unknown: 00:38:15

by, you know that that

Unknown: 00:38:19

it's more important to show up every day than showing up for a

Unknown: 00:38:26

week lots. You know, it's it's like going to the gym. If you go

Unknown: 00:38:30

to the gym, and you hit the gym, once a month like crazy and you

Unknown: 00:38:35

lift hard and you go hard for three hours.

Unknown: 00:38:39

And then the guy that went every day for half an hour. That guy

Unknown: 00:38:44

that went for half an hour every day and you went once a month

Unknown: 00:38:47

and worked really hard. He's gonna have better results every

Unknown: 00:38:51

single time. Yeah. And that's part of like, showing up to life

Unknown: 00:38:56

every day. And just get doing the best you can do. If even if

Unknown: 00:39:01

it's a little bit every day is borough going to the results are

Unknown: 00:39:07

going to be way better than if you show up once a week and go

Unknown: 00:39:11

hard. Yes, it's about consistency. And that's, that's

Unknown: 00:39:16

that's where true. That's that's actual self love is doing the

Unknown: 00:39:21

hard things because you know, it's better for you not doing

Unknown: 00:39:24

what feels good. And I think a lot of people get confused on

Unknown: 00:39:28

that.

Unknown: 00:39:30

No, totally right. And so, it's definitely you know, it's it's

Unknown: 00:39:37

one of those things where

Unknown: 00:39:40

it's a GH you got to buy into it. This is a box that will save

Unknown: 00:39:44

your life. You just have to buy into it and give it your all and

Unknown: 00:39:49

my life has definitely changed for the better because I figured

Unknown: 00:39:54

out how to live life on life's terms on a daily basis.

Unknown: 00:40:00

I just, it's something I work at.

Unknown: 00:40:03

And I've picked up these tools and, and if anybody is

Unknown: 00:40:08

struggling with anything like this and wants to get a hold of

Unknown: 00:40:12

me and wants to learn about these things and is interested

Unknown: 00:40:16

in changing their lives in a positive way, I'll leave my

Unknown: 00:40:19

number with you and they can contact you. And I'm always

Unknown: 00:40:22

hoping to talk with people and in helping, it's one of the

Unknown: 00:40:29

one of the beliefs we have is that the only way that we keep

Unknown: 00:40:31

what we have is by giving it away. And that just means being

Unknown: 00:40:35

a helpful hand. And so yeah, so yeah, if, if any of your

Unknown: 00:40:40

listeners want to get a hold of me, I'll let them know that they

Unknown: 00:40:45

can get the whole year and I'll leave my name and numbers here.

Unknown: 00:40:49

And they can definitely get a get a hold of me, I'm willing to

Unknown: 00:40:53

help. Thank you so much, James, like, I feel you went so deep

Unknown: 00:40:58

with your story. And the so very relatable for for everybody is

Unknown: 00:41:04

who's listening here. And you are unique, you are incredibly

Unknown: 00:41:09

unique. And I know if you continue on that journey, you

Unknown: 00:41:13

can help so many more people, because counseling and

Unknown: 00:41:17

psychotherapist is good. But those people sometimes didn't

Unknown: 00:41:21

went through the struggle, and you did go through.

Unknown: 00:41:26

So you meet people on the same level and you take their hand

Unknown: 00:41:30

and walk the way together with them.

Unknown: 00:41:34

And this is just Yeah. Endlessly precious. Thank you so much for

Unknown: 00:41:39

your time.

Unknown: 00:41:41

Thank you for Yes, talking with me. Yeah, and I feel we have so

Unknown: 00:41:46

much more to talk. If you feel the same. We can make it a

Unknown: 00:41:49

second episode sometime soon.

Unknown: 00:41:54

Absolutely. For now, I'll be editing this, I will post it on

Unknown: 00:41:58

my Facebook and you feel free to spread it around and have it too

Unknown: 00:42:03

and we'll add your phone number and your name. Yeah. Thank you

Unknown: 00:42:08

so much.

Unknown: 00:42:10

Hey, guys and girls. I hope you enjoyed this episode with James

Unknown: 00:42:16

Olsen and myself. Feel free to reach out to me if you want his

Unknown: 00:42:22

phone number if you want to connect with him. You can also

Unknown: 00:42:25

connect with me on Facebook or Instagram. And yeah, we can help

Unknown: 00:42:31

you out or you can help other people out and spreading this

Unknown: 00:42:36

message around and making other people feel less lonely. make

Unknown: 00:42:41

other people feel okay with this situation and as hopeless as it

Unknown: 00:42:46

feels. There's people out there who can and want to support you

Unknown: 00:42:52

on your journey. Thank you for listening to the Borealis

Unknown: 00:42:55

experience.